• Satirical 10/1 Weather Prognostication for Negative Thinking Fans

 #57027  by Fred Garvin
 Fri Sep 30, 2022 12:56 pm
1. It will be cloudy tomorrow morning so you might have to wear an extra layer.
2. It could be raining in the morning so you might have to take one of the layers off or the rain jacket will be too warm.
3. Despite the cloudiness UV rays are present. You probably need to put on some water resistant SPF 30 on to prevent the growth of skin cancer.
4. You need to spend the morning worrying how the damp weather could have an impact on the Furman injury report. Certain injuries hurt more in this type of weather and could be the difference in the game. Alas.....
5. The sun will come out after lunch along with the wind. Make sure to apply that SPF again because this will help you with the wind burn you will most likely receive.
6. Players don't like field turf that is partially wet. They like it either dry or wet. These conditions could have a negative psychological impact on our players.
7. There is a 30 percent chance the winds blowing in from the scoreboard end will have a negative impact on our right handed quarterback. Let's really hope the wind is coming in from the fieldhouse end because that wind poses no problems and it is too late to get a southpaw QB.
8. People are less likely to talk about Timmons Arena when it is cloudy.
9. The lack of tents could have an adverse impact on recycling.
10. All of these things play a role in whether or not the Awards Night will be a public event.
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